Why does it feel hard asking others for help?
Do you find it hard asking others for help or does this come naturally to you? I have a lot of inner strength and feel very capable so asking others for help and support hasn’t come naturally to me. Recently, life has been teaching me a lesson about this.
I remember when I was young around age 5, I had no courage to ask my Mum’s friend for food when I was hungry. The easier option for me was to ask my friend to ask her Mum for me. However, this didn’t work because I then got into trouble (well what I felt was trouble) when her Mum told me that I needed to ask myself.
Little did she know that her response didn’t help me and I still exhibited that behaviour several years later. I’m not even sure why or how I adopted this behaviour because it was there from a very young age. What I do know is it was part of my lesson around overcoming self-worth challenges and shyness.
I think it’s important to remember with everything going on in our lives and the changes occurring in life that there will be times when we need support from others.
What can get in the way of asking for help?
There are several challenges that could be getting in the way. Do you have any of these?
- Feeling independent and wanting to do things on your own
- Not wanting to appear incompetent or feeling that you have failed
- You’ve asked for help before and had a negative experience
- The belief that others should just offer help to you without you having to ask
- You don’t want to be a burden on others
- You have blocks to receiving because you may feel not worthy or that it's selfish.
Fear is often the underlying emotion such as the fear of being seen as weak/vulnerable, the fear of being rejected and the fear of failure.
If you feel that one or more of these reasons could be getting in the way of you asking for help, then it’s time to reframe and see asking for support in a new light. Here are 3 tips to help you do that:
- Allow the other person to give: If you are a person that is naturally wired to help others, then you will know the positive feelings you feel when you help another. What this means is you seek help from another and it honours them by allowing them to give to you. See how it’s a win-win?
- An opportunity to learn: You have an opportunity to learn from others who have been in a similar situation and what strategies they used to find a way through.
- An act of courage: By asking for help you are taking action and being 100% responsible for overcoming an obstacle, such as the fears listed above. You then have the realisation that you have more opportunities open to you that you possibly couldn't see to get out of the situation that was making you feel stuck.
Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It's one of the bravest things you can do. And it can save your life - Lily Collins
What will you gain from asking for help?
- A wonderful sense of trust in a Higher Power, others and yourself and how we are all connected
- There is much love, support and help available to you at any moment, you just need to take action to see and receive it
- Increased emotional strength to go after your dreams and goals with the courage to ask for help when you need it.
We all need help in our lives. Even if some of us choose to live more independent lives, staying connected and collaborating with others is life-giving. Receiving is a wonderful gift. Receive help graciously, absorb it into your being receiving it fully, and feel grateful for the support you need.
Sign up for my free guide "5 Strategies to Bust Stress Fast" by clicking here. These strategies can help you in all areas of your life.
Here's to living your best life!
Melissa Taylor
Future Transcendence Leadership Mentor
Author of A Practical Guide to Finding Your Soul Purpose
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