6 tips for harmony: the simplicity and the complexity in relationships

Do you struggle in your relationships now and in the past?

Have you wanted to know how to make relationships a success?

Experiencing harmony in relationships is a key to success in life. Creating harmony in relationships involves simple things and stronger bonds requires some complexity, however, all is possible with a little work.

What are the simple things that make relationships work?

Smiling and showing warmth towards others. If you tend towards being cold and aloof, it makes it harder for people to get to know you and often when people have limited information about a person they make it up to fill the gaps. People remember smiles so go ahead and flash those pearly whites.

Balancing your communication. Learn to listen more than you talk in conversations. If you find yourself dominating the conversations without the other person responding, pause, take a deep breath and invite the other person into the conversation by asking for their thoughts on the topic. 

There is much to learn from others as everyone has something important to say and you find out a lot about their state of mind and feelings from listening. It’s important to be in tune with your partner in intimate relationships and notice what’s going on for them when in dialogue.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak – Epictetus

Boosting self-esteem and empowering people. When you leave people and situations better off than when you began is something to aspire to. People seem a bit too quick to criticise and judge others in this hyper material focused modern world that we live in. Becoming conscious of making others feel good and positive in your company is a good thing. Seize the moment and help others to be their best. Your kindness causes a ripple effect like a stone dropped into a pond.

At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel – Maya Angelou

What are the more complex things to be mindful of?

Projection. This is a term used in psychology when you take undesirable emotions or traits that you don’t like about yourself and project or attribute them to someone else. When you can’t let go of hurt feelings because of something your partner did or didn’t do, it is projection and the conflict is triggering unresolved issues from the past. 

Once you shine a light on the true source of your wound and deal with the underlying issue, the issue will be resolved. Unless you address the pattern and remove the block that projection is causing, it will continue.

Put the stick down and stop beating yourself up. Are you the type of person who will complete a job to a very high standard (99%) and then beat yourself up for the remaining 1%? Then the abusive self-talk needs to stop, you wouldn’t let someone else talk to you that way so put the stick down now. Learn to speak gently and compassionately to yourself. 

The positive effects of cleaning up your inner world leads to positive effects showing up in your external world. Instead of being a fault finder, shine a light and find the upside.

Interdependency. Sometimes it’s easy to become enmeshed in relationships where you could lose your sense of who you are and your life revolves around your partner. This can lead to imbalances of power such as where one holds the power and controls the other’s actions and the other bends to their will or one feels like they do all the giving and the other starts to be lazy and takes things for granted. These imbalances are unhealthy dynamics and can be more serious if your partner has problems such as drugs or alcohol and you are enabling the addiction. 

To keep relationships healthy, aim for interdependency. This is when both people have their interests/hobbies and friendships outside of the relationship and then bring them back to the relationship to share their learning and experiences. 

This is where a Life Purpose Relationship Compatibility Briefing can be helpful for couples. Knowing what each of you is here to learn and create in this life means that you can support each other with your dreams. Interested to know more? Go here. 

In conclusion, this is not an exhaustive list for fulfilling relationships, there’s more to your relationship dynamics, however, focusing on these tips will help them to thrive. If you are struggling in your relationships and desire more success and harmony then go here.

At the end of the day, relationships need love and love is infinite and always available. Choose to see with the eyes of love today.

Here’s to living your best life!

Melissa Taylor

Future Transcendence Leadership Mentor

Author of A Practical Guide to Finding Your Soul Purpose